How to live as husbands and wives (Family value, series 1)

18th April, 2010
Written By Rev Law Hui Seng
Posted By Teresa Han

1Peter 3:1-7

Main Idea: Fear God in your marriage

Objectives: a. To challenge husbands and wives to fear God in their marriage. b. To teach husbands and wives how to treat one another.

A. Introduction

- For those of you who are married, have you faced any challenges in your marriage? Any disagreements? Any tensions? Any Frustrations? Any hurts?

- You may be seeking answers to your challenges and you may find that you face deadlock. You do not seem to find a way out and some of you may think of ending your marriage.

- If your marriage is very good and happy, then, I must congratulate you and you may like to share with others in small groups and in other occasions. You must especially witness about your marriage in front of other people.

- Today, we are embarking on a passage out of only a few marriage passages in the bible. I pray that it will inspire you to be better wives and husbands.

- Let us see what 1Peter 3:1-7 tells us how to live together as husbands and wives.

B. Wives, be submissive to your husbands (verse 1)

- This passage on marriage is very much in the context of Chapter 2. What has been said by Apostle Peter there affects the present passage. Especially in 2:13, 14, Peter urged the readers, for the sake of God, to submit themselves to every authority instituted among men, namely the king, supreme authority, governors, etc.

- That is why in verse 1 here chapter 3, Peter says, “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands…” You see the submission done in the context of submitting to authorities instituted in those days.

- Now, please do not misunderstand the passage as encouraging you to get married with non-Christians. The context at that was such that there were Christian wives who were converted to Christianity and then, they had to face their unbelieving husband.

- Their submission to their husbands was made very challenging because the common practice in that society was for wives to follow the husband’s religion. Now, Peter really addressed this issue.

- He teaches them to submit to their husbands who do not believe in the instruction of God’s word. How the wives were to do it? It was an uphill task. The answer is not to verbally preach to them and won them over to Christianity. It was done through the behavior of the wives, as taught in verse 1b, “…they may be won over without words by he behavior of their wives,…”

- The submission of the wives through behavior would help their husbands to see their purity and reverence to their God (verse 2). They should not emphasize outward appearance like braided hair and wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes (verse 3). Instead, they should emphasize the inner self beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God’s sight (verse 4).

- Why? It is because the holy women the past like Sarah who put their hope in God submitted to their husband and do what is right and do not give way to fear (verses 5, 6). Now, from these 2 verses, you see that the Christian wives are not to submit to their husbands that they need to embrace the husbands’ religion. Otherwise, apostle Peter cannot use the example of Sarah, who fear God. What they need to do now is to respect the husbands for their belief and the same time, they need to prove to their all the godly characters like purity, reverence, not emphasizing outward wear, be gentle and quiet in spirit, and they would do fine.

- I can see that what apostle demands of Christian wives at the time and also very today is this: in wives, there must be a strong sense of fear of God. Otherwise, you cannot understand why he asks wives to be submissive to husbands (for it is commanded by God to submit to authorities), to be pure and reverent, and to be gentle and quiet in spirit. All these characters point wives Godward, fear God/ respect God/ honor God. Is this also relevant for today?

C. Husbands, be considerate as you live with your wives (verse 7).

- Then, the instruction for the husband is very brief. I can understand why it is such a short paragraph. For if a husband is already a Christian, then, it is not so much of an issue because the norm of the society is for the wives to follow the husband’s religion.

- However, if the wives are not Christians yet, the husbands cannot force her to accept his religion also, as he instruction says that husbands need to treat their wives with respect as the weaker partners. They are supposed to be co-heirs of God’s salvation in the eternal life. As husband respect their wives as a weaker partner, then, the husbands will not be hindered in prayers. In his worship and belief of God, service for Jesus.

- Again, like the Christian wives, Christian husbands who treat their wives with respect, Peter similarly brought out the point that they must fear God in their marriage. They respect their wives because God desires theme to do so.

- I strongly believe that as husbands and wives fear God, no matter how we are challenged in our marriage, there is going to be a way out.

D. Applications

- How wives submit to their husbands? How do you fear God in your marriage? I strongly feel that all our problems of submission have to do with our sin of self-centeredness. It can be the problem of husband and wife. If you are willing to go to God with self-centeredness with lots of prayer and seeking God for a way out, as you fear God by obeying His commands in the bible, you will let go and you will submit to your husbands.

- How husbands are considerate towards their wives and respect them as weaker partner? How do you fear God in your marriage? Why husbands do not respect their wives, not love them? Again, it can be deal to self-centeredness of both sides. Can you deal with that sin by producing the fruit of the Holy Spirit? When you do so, of course you will love and respect your wives.

E. Conclusion.

- You see why I keep emphasizing fearing God in your marriage. You need to keep telling yourself, in God’s word, He expect you to do this and that.

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