Accountable Parents Raise Accountable Kids

2nd May, 2010

Written By Rev Law Hui Seng

Posted By Teresa Han

Ephesians 5: 31

Main Idea: To be accountable to our children

Objective: To teach the congregation to use their life example to impart in their children’s life the character of accountability.

A. Introduction.

- Today I do not preach as if I am there and I already master the subject. I am very much working towards it.

- Do you find any trouble in getting your children to tidy up their rooms; throw the garbage; clean dishes and plates after eating; getting them to do their homework; training them to put back the items used, etc?

- This is actually to do with responsibility, also called accountability.

- However, it is a great character for the practice of our life. It is not popular among our children. It is easier to do your own things and not have to answer to anyone. But that is not how life works.

- Without accountability, society would be chaotic. Without accountability, homes can degenerate into chaos. Many have this problem because a family member refuses to act responsibility toward the rest of the family.

- My sermon title this morning (evening) is accountable parents raise accountable kids. Can you be accountable to your children in order to use yourself as an example to train them to be accountable, as a character?

- The bible teaches us on the value and character of accountability.

B. Accountability involves submission and obedience.

- I agree with Josh McDowell and Dick Day in their book, “How to be a hero to your kids” that says, “Accountability is closely associated with 2 biblical concepts of submission and obedience. “ If I am willing to be accountable, that means I am humble enough to submit to others and obey, please or serve them. This is our reverence for Christ.

- Apostle Paul listed ways to live a lifestyle of being filled with the Holy Spirit, Ephesians 5:21, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” It is so spiritual, God fearing to be submissive to others. It is very spiritual to be accountable to others. It is a godly character.

- Becoming accountable and responsible is a crucial part of growing up and becoming a mature, balanced human being.

- To be accountable means submitting to others and ministering to their needs rather than always being worried about your own need.

- It takes a secure person who knows he is accepted, a person who feels significant because he has been show genuine appreciation. If we accept and appreciate our kids they can learn to be accountable.

- So, can you be accountable to your kids? The best way to teach accountability to your children is through your example. It is not them in charge and you have to be under them. It is about being humble and submissive enough to give your children permission to call you to account when you act in an unloving, irresponsible manner.

- Yes, they may not be always fair in what they think is “unloving,” and they may often see things from their child’s point of view, but making yourself accountable to your children provides an invaluable bridge of communication between the 2 of you. As your child or whoever you look after, watches you be accountable, he will learn to be accountable. You and I need to do effective role modeling before our children or those who are under us.

- My wife reminds me of my promise to my children and holds me accountable. My children observes it and learn. She reminds me not to promise something to my children and later I cannot fulfill it. Unless I am very sure it is going to happen, otherwise, do not say anything to promise.

C. Kids aren’t afraid to hold you accountable.

- My kids hold me accountable for what I do and say. I told them to practice orderliness in making beds and tidy up their room. There was one time I did not do my job, and I ask them to do it. They reply that I had not done either. They hold me accountable. I have to do it. I still struggle on this and sometimes I forget to do it.

- Every Monday, as long as I am around, my kids hold me accountable to bring one person out for special appointment. Praise the Lord most of the times I make it and I teach them accountability. Dad is responsible for what he says.

D. Good intentions don’t automatically become reality.

- However, how do I deal with the question of how can be a father, a husband, who is supposed to the head of the family, the leader in the family, and at the same time, be subjected myself to my wife and children.

- I believe I am a servant-leader who is strong, matured and humble enough to say to my wife and children, “I want you to hold me accountable.”

E. Accountability and role-modeling go together.

- Brothers and sisters, as you are accountable to your children or children who are under you, then, you are providing a very good example to your children or children who are under you. You may be a grandmother, an auntie, an uncle, a teacher, etc. You are in a position to influence the children who are under you for Christ as you give good modeling to them through your accountability.

F. Being accountable makes discipline easier.

- Being accountable to your kids or those kids who are under you, may put you in some tight spots, but it also lays groundwork for following through with discipline when it really counts.

- Because through your accountability, they really know that you are close with them and love them, you earn their respect; they will take your discipline positively.

- As I am accountable to my children, and when I ask them to say sorry to one another in the family, they do it. By the way, I also say sorry to my children to my wife and children. Nowadays, we practice like this: one has to say, “I am sorry and the other has to say, I forgive you.” This is to make sure each one of us mean it from our heart. We learn from Rev Thomas Lau.

G. Being accountable takes humility and patience.

- As you humble yourself in accountability, you need to be patient also with one another. And your family will grow in relationships and your family will be happy.

- Do you owe an apology to your family? Have you failed in anyway in your accountability to each of them? Have you been humble and patient with your children and wife and husband or those kids under you?

H. Conclusion.

- I pray that you will realize the big deal about accountability.

- If you are practicing it is your reverence for Jesus. It is living according to the word of God.

- It is a great character.